


What's On Your Mind?

by Croc9400



Series: Malec One Line Prompt Challenge [9]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Shadowhunter Chronicles - All Media Types, The Shadowhunter Chronicles - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Alec Lightwood Deserves Nice Things, Domestic Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Insecure Magnus Bane, Late Night Conversations, Light Angst, M/M, Magnus Bane Deserves Nice Things, Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood Fluff, Parent Alec Lightwood, Parent Magnus Bane, Parents Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood, Supportive Alec Lightwood
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-20
Updated: 2020-10-20
Packaged: 2021-03-08 21:42:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,733
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27113470
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Croc9400/pseuds/Croc9400
Summary: Baby Max wakes up for the fourth time that night, leading Magnus' mind to wander as he rocks his son back to sleep.***Day 9 - "I don't know why I'm crying"
Relationships: Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood
Series: Malec One Line Prompt Challenge [9]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1952176
Comments: 10
Kudos: 103





	What's On Your Mind?

**Author's Note:**

> Two days in a row?? What??? Crazy, I know! Hope you enjoy this cute little one.  
> Also, if you haven't noticed by now, titles aren't my thing. I try, but I rely on my content to carry me, lol.

“This,” Magnus groaned as Max’s cries echoed through their room, “this is why I’ve never had kids,” 

Alec chuckled a little before tucking himself back into his pillow, knowing Magnus was teasing. This is the fourth time Max had woken up tonight and it was Magnus’ turn again. He rolled over and pressed a quick kiss to Alec’s shoulder before rolling out of bed, wrapping himself in his robe and picking Max up out of his crib. 

“Shh, shh,” Magnus shushed him as he pulled him out of his crib and began making his way to the kitchen both to get his bottle and to get him out of the bedroom so hopefully Alec could go back to sleep. 

“I’ve got you, Blueberry,” Magnus said softly as Max slowly calmed down, his lip pouting as he looked up at Magnus with big, wet eyes. 

“See, that wasn’t so bad, was it?” Magnus asked as he opened the fridge and got out a bottle. He snapped it so it’d be the perfect temperature, not wanting to bother with the microwave when Max could burst into tears again at any moment. He shifted his son in his arms and began to feed him his bottle. 

His son. 

Every time he said that he could barely believe it. It was so surreal. Once he had found out he was infertile over four hundred years ago he had basically given up on the idea of having kids. Then as he got older he started taking in young downworlders and they became his children. Then he met Alec and his entire world changed. 

As Max relaxed in his arms he walked them both back to the bedroom. He eased back down onto the bed so as to not wake Alec as he fed Max. Alec rolled over and rested against Magnus, a hand low on his thigh. Magnus smiled at his boyfriend, who was still fast asleep next to him. He had that little pout on his lips that he always did when he slept and his hair had fallen into his face. 

Magnus then looked back at Max, his eyes drooping closed as he sucked at the bottle. His little horns stuck out of his head contrasting his blue skin. He was such a happy baby, only ever crying when he wanted something or he hurt himself. Alec and Magnus, being the spoiling parents they were, always made sure he wanted for nothing. 

He couldn’t help but think back to his own childhood when he looked down at Max. At this age, before his mother knew, she had held him like this. Or at least, he assumed she had, he obviously couldn’t remember. He had told himself as he was living with the Silent Brothers that if he ever had a child, they would have a better upbringing than him. They’d only had Max for a week and he already knew that was true. 

He couldn’t quite explain it, the love he felt for Max. He thought he’d finally experienced every kind of love when he’d fallen in love with Alec, but having a child, that was different. Alec had awoken him to a new kind of full-bodied love, but Max, there was something unlocked deep within his soul as he stared into the eyes of his child who stared up at him. 

As he began to reconcile this feeling within him, he tried to fathom how his mother had done what she had done, how his stepfather had done what he’d done. His mother had left him, had decided she couldn’t handle what her child truly was. His stepfather...his stepfather had tried to kill him. Looking down at Max and everything he felt for his child, he couldn't even fathom how they had done that to him. 

For that reason and a thousand more, Max, or any other children he and Alec might adopt, they would want for knowing. They would know from day one how much their parents loved them and they would know that for a fact until the day they died. 

It was then he felt the wetness on his cheeks. 

He felt the tightness in his throat and he just let out the small sob that wanted to escape before he laughed at himself. He felt Alec stir beside him and before Magnus could soothe him and tell him to go back to sleep, both of his hands were on Magnus’ thigh and his chin was resting on his hand. 

“Hey,” Alec’s voice was soft as he squinted to see Magnus’ face in the darkness, “are you okay?”

“I don’t know what I’m crying,” Magnus laughed a little again. Alec reached up and wiped the tears from his boyfriend’s face. 

“Are you upset about something?” Alec asked softly, “do you want me to take him?”

“No! No, I’ve...I’ve got him,” Magnus said quickly. Alec moved to sit up, pressing himself against Magnus as he leaned back against the headboard. 

“What’s going on in your head, love?” Alec asked, looking over at him before wiping a few more of his tears that had fallen. 

“I don’t know,” Magnus shook his head.

“You don’t know or you don’t know how to put it into words?” 

“The latter,” Magnus looked down at Max again as he finished off his bottle, “can you grab his burping cloth?” 

“Yeah,” Alec climbed out of bed and went to the crib, pulling the burping cloth out and draping it over Magnus’ shoulder. He shifted Max in his arms so he was laying against his shoulder and began lightly patting his back. Alec settled back down next to Magnus. 

“Thinking about him?” Alec asked, gesturing to Max.

“Yeah,” Magnus said just as Max spit up over the cloth, “oh, there you go, Blueberry,” 

Magnus rested Max back in his arms before pulling the cloth off his shoulder, folding it in on itself before wiping Max’s mouth. He snapped his fingers and cleaned the cloth before tossing it back to the crib. He then settled back against the bed, against Alec, and began slowly rocking Max back to sleep. 

“I just,” Magnus said softly, still staring down at Max, “I never thought I’d have kids,” 

“Me either,” Alec replied, “not like this, anyway,” 

“I was just,” Magnus blinked away his tears as he thought about his own childhood, “I was thinking about my childhood. About my mother and my stepfather. I promised myself when I was with the Silent Brothers that if I ever had a child of my own they’d have a better childhood than me,” 

Alec nodded and wrapped his arm around Magnus’ shoulder, pulling him impossibly closer. Magnus rested his head on Alec’s shoulder and they both just looked down at Max, now asleep in Magnus’ arms. 

“I just want him to know, I want any kids we might have now and forever, to know that we’ve loved them since the beginning and we’ll love them till the end,” Magnus said. 

“We will, and they’ll know it,” Alec replied, hugging Magnus closer and pausing a moment before speaking again, “you...you want to have more kids?”

“I want all the kids you’ll have with me,” Magnus replied. 

“Better keep working hard on my immortality then,” Alec said. His own mortality was still a somewhat sore subject between them, one of the only sore subjects between them. Magnus knew that Alec was searching for options outside of becoming a vampire. He knew Alec had asked Clary for a rune and she said she would try. He didn’t know if Alec would take any actual chance of immortality. The idea of Alec wanting to spend forever with him, an immortal forever, was almost unfathomable to him. The cynical part of him assumed that it was such a hypothetical right now and that’s why Alec was looking for it, and if it ever became a reality, he would hesitate, and eventually choose to die and be with Raziel and his family. 

Alec stared at his family with a new sense of urgency to his quest for immortality. After he and Magnus had broken up as Alec searched for a way to make Magnus mortal, he resolved to find a way to make himself immortal. Now they had a child, an immortal child at that, Alec was even more determined. If Max was the only child they had or he was the first out of who knows how many, Alec was going to ensure he was around for everyone one of those kids for the rest of their mortal or immortal lives. 

“Guess so,” Magnus remarked softly before they both dropped the subject. They both hated that they always danced around the topic, but they both knew that it hurt too much to talk about. The idea that one day they might be apart, that Alec might leave their family, was just too much for either of them to handle. 

“We should probably go to sleep,” Alec said, “he’s gonna get up again soon and we both have to work tomorrow,” 

“I don’t want to put him back just yet,” Magnus replied, still looking down at Max. 

“Then lay him between us,” Alec said, scooting over to settle down on his own pillow, “there’s no law that says warlock babies have to sleep in their cribs,”

“Excellent thinking, darling,” Magnus smiled, pressing a kiss to Alec’s cheek before pecking his lips and laying Max down between them. They arranged their pillows so he laid between them, unable to roll all over the bed. Magnus laid back down as well and Alec reached over the Max size gap between them and took Magnus’ hand in his own. 

“Love you,” Alec said before pressing a kiss to Max’s head, “love both of you,”

“Love you too,” Magnus said, kissing Alec’s knuckles before kissing Max’s head. He smiled as he watched Alec close his eyes and drift back off into a soft-snored-filled sleep. Magnus smiled as he looked at his family, a few tears slipping from his eyes again, at the thought of the love he had for his child and the fact that he might lose Alec one day before he pushed those more negative thoughts from his mind. He wiped his eyes before closing them and letting himself drift off for a few hours before Max would inevitably wake them again.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed that cute little one! The next one in "Everyone keeps telling me you’re the bad guy” and...you know...dark Magnus might be making his return... ;)


End file.
